2016 Vacation, Day 2 - Kentucky Horse Park to Knoxville, TN

With Awbri's car sickness, Richard's back & neck pain and my own arthritis, we planned to stop every 1-2 hours on this trip. We stayed in Louisville, KY the first night and the Kentucky Horse Park is in Lexington only about an hour away.

It was listed on BringFido.com as a dog-friendly place to visit with great reviews.

 It was a 90-degree day but there is plenty of shade and benches to sit and rest.

This is really cool. A Mechanical Horse that you can watch in motion.

We went inside the Visitor Center and the woman was very sweet, obviously a dog lover. I asked about what I had read on the website and she told us we could take the Trolley, pulled by Draft Horses, with the dogs - no problem. And that we could see the Breeds Show first before the Trolley was set to go out again.

 It was so nice to walk a little bit, sit on a bench in the shade, take pictures.

                     We were able to sit on a bench in the shade where there was a nice breeze way to watch the show.

 My little Bud Man was comfy in the bag on my lap.

     Awbri had never seen a horse before but she was very good. She was very interested but she watched quietly.

 There were 5 breeds shown and the riders were in beautiful costumes. The speaker gave us a lot of information and I wish I could remember it all.

The beautiful Fresian is actually a Hollywood Star. She did her cute hip sashay from side to side.

And took a bow.

It was a great show!

It was just a short walk to get the Trolley, only about 50 yards.

 Awbri barked when she first heard the trolley and saw the horses but she calmed down and was very good on the trolley ride.

This is a globe made of horse shoes. It's hard to see the outline of the continents in this picture.

 We went through the Kids' Barn. I loved it :) there were a couple of horses we could talk to and touch.

 It was a great experience. We really enjoyed visiting the Kentucky Horse Park and highly recommend it to anyone going through Kentucky.

 Leaving the Horse Park it was 90 degrees with fluffy white clouds in the sky.

We were headed to Knoxville, Tennessee.

As we headed south the clouds got darker and heavier.

We were intrigued by the ivy that was growing all over everything. It looked like creatures rising up out of a swamp.

Entering Tennessee from the north is beautiful.

 The clouds broke up for a while so we could see just how green and lush it was.

Then we had a downpour but it didn't last too long.

 We were so amazed by the ivy that had taken over.

We were saying it reminded us of creatures, sometimes it looked like dinosaurs or dragons. And all of a sudden there was this -

Yes that is a dragon! LOL.

My batteries died in the camera so this is the last picture of the day.

When we got to our hotel in Knoxville they didn't have our reservation. I had made our reservations about 2 months earlier and had checked on each one before we left. The room they tried to give us was awful, it was on the second floor with way too many stairs for me to climb and the whole place was pretty gross. I called the 800 number and they had our reservation but it hadn't been sent to the hotel itself. It turned out to be a good thing. They have to find us a comparable room somewhere else if they don't have the room we requested. So we were directed to a much nicer hotel in town. That turned out to be the best room we've ever stayed in and the location was perfect.

We started staying at Motel 6 last year because we can take our dogs and we get the AARP discount. But... there are very nice rooms and there are very bad rooms.

Maybe I need to start writing reviews on the different motels.

I learned that requesting the Handicap Accessible room is best because not all rooms have the handicap bars in the bathrooms. And they are always on the ground level.

Next... Knoxville, Tennessee.

Vacation 2016 ~ Road Trip Day 1 to Louisville, KY

Buddy is ready for a road trip!

We packed the backseat of the Subaru with outdoor patio cushions and put Bud's bed on top so he could see out the windows.

   

 

 

Awbri wanted to be on my lap in the front seat so we made a comfy cushioned bed for her and

        attached her leash/harness to the  backseat.She was a happy copilot.

She had been getting carsick every time she went in the Subaru and we had tried every remedy we heard of. Nothing seemed to help so we brought lots of towels and a box of shop towels and hoped she wouldn't be miserable.

 

 

We drove into Hannibal, MO to fill up with gas.

We've driven over the bridge across the Mississippi River into Missouri many times but we've never seen this before - The American Queen steamboat.

We got gas in Hannibal, 30 minutes into the trip, and poor Miss Awbri vomited all over the front of the car. We were prepared. We had plenty of towels and wet wipes.

Once she got it out of her system she layed down and went to sleep. She was fine the whole rest of the trip.

We drove through St. Louis, Missouri. And then took Hwy 64 East to Louisville, Kentucky.

I like St. Louis. I love the architecture and the combination of old and new. I love that there are still trees and flowers and lakes. I love that there are restored old buildings and also brand new modern buildings.

 

Here you can see the Arch.

Here is a beautiful old tower rising up above the construction.

 

  The Busch Stadium with the Arch behind it. Home of the St. Louis Cardinals

       There is even an old brick smoke stack right next to the major highway in the center of town.

 

Look at the old hotel in the bottom left corner of this photo.

 

And on the other side of the Hwy... the old train bridge over the river.

 We'll be coming back through St. Louis from the other direction in 2 weeks. Now we are going to Louisville, Kentucky.

This is where the farmlands of Illinois and Indiana 

meet the mountains and trees of Kentucky.





We made it to Louisville before sunset! We found the Louisville Slugger Field.

I've been using Bring Fido.com to find dog-friendly places to visit, to eat, to stay. This was the first place we planned to visit on our vacation and it was great!

 

We were greeted and our dogs were petted and given water. Do you see Awbri?

 

 

 We ate a great meal, tried some fresh brewed beer and relaxed in downtown Louisville.

We loved it. We relaxed at Against The Grain as the sun set and the lights came on.

 

 

The Mercer Building is beautiful.

There was a lot of construction going on so finding our motel was challenging. The city is really pretty at night with the bridges lit up over the Ohio River but I couldn't get any good photos because the construction made getting around crazy.

          So that's Day One of our road trip to North Carolina. Day 2  is the Kentucky Horse Park.

It's Been ... A Year

Well... it has been over a year since I wrote the last blog post.
And what a year it has been. I have had 2 surgeries. My knees were so badly damaged that I had to have 2 Total Joint Replacements right away. I had the first one last July. I was home recovering from that surgery when a severe storm came through and a pine tree came down on the house, crashing through the roof.

We had no power for 3 days and the heat was unbearable. It was too much for my Droo. He got pneumonia again and didn't recover. My heart is so broken! I am still grieving. I miss my little bear so much!

My RA had turned that corner from moderate to severe. The MRI of both knees showed no meniscus, no cartilage, torn ACL, torn MCL, torn PCL, bone spurs... severe Osteoarthritis! Yea... my knees were completely trashed. The surgeon took more x-rays and told me the left leg was twisting and the shin bone was being crushed. He didn't know how the heck I had been able to function at all. He wanted to operate immediately. He took x-rays of my hips to make sure they didn't need to be replaced first. He decided they didn't. He said he used to do both knees at the same time but has learned it is better to do one at a time so that's what we did. He ordered pre-op physical therapy for 5 weeks to get some mobility and strength back in my legs before the surgeries.

My left leg was so bad, when the surgeon came out of my surgery he told Richard he was "devastated" by how bad my knee was. He said it was the worst he'd ever seen. He had to work on it for an hour and a half to get the new knee joint in and everything lined up. He put a 4-inch post into my shin to stabilize it and he said the bones were osteoporotic. The surgeon's assistant came in to see me and told me how bad it was and how amazing my surgeon was for getting it all lined up and straight. He told me they removed a bone spur the size of a small tube of toothpaste. So... that was the beginning of my new life chapter... the surgeries, recovery, physical therapy, mourning, healing.

I cried every day, all day, mourning the loss of my Droo Bear. I didn't know how to live without him. He had been my glue that held me together through 12 years. Losing him was just ... I have no words. I began my post-op physical therapy. The therapist read the MRI and told me he will never forget it. He had never seen anything like it and was blown away. He also has a wife and a dog they love very much so he understood how I was grieving.

My second surgery, to replace the Right knee, was scheduled for 6 months later. But, my surgeon left the state unexpectedly, leaving me without a doctor. I had to start all over finding an Orthopedic Surgeon that takes my insurance and does Total Knee Replacements. This was not easy. It took a couple of months but I found one in the same area. He was not at all like my first surgeon that I really liked and trusted. But, he was willing and able to do my surgery. So in January I had the second joint replacement surgery. It was nothing like the first. Everything was different. They kept trying to give me medications I cannot take in the hospital. They didn't have ice packs for me. They wouldn't give me pillows. The surgeon was not caring and kind. The assistant looked at me like I was from another planet when I asked him about the surgery in comparison to the first. But... it was done and I survived.

Recovery after the second surgery has been tough. I have had to learn to walk all over again and it has been hard. I had complications with my ankle at first. The home PT taped it up and treated it appropriately so it healed. Then I had shooting pains from the knee down the shin and it took a few weeks for my PT to figure out that it was due to the arthritis in my hip. He changed up my therapy and worked on my hip and that was the antidote. I am still recovering. I have good days and bad days.

We got a puppy. She is a Brittany. Her name is Awbri... as in "Awwww... Bri". She is a love bug and a fireball.

I still mourn for Droo but I don't cry all the time anymore. Buddy, my Chihuahua, had to have surgery on his mouth and all his teeth were removed. But he is a tough little guy and he is doing just fine.

I am seeing a new Rheumatologist and he is great. He is understanding and compassionate. He has started me on medication to slow the progression of the RA and hopefully I won't have to get my hips replaced for a while. He is helping me have a better quality of life now. I had to find another primary care physician because I now have GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) and bad Allergies. The weather here in the Midwest is very hard on my body with the RA and living in the country close to the Mississippi River is bad for my respiratory system. I am focusing on getting my legs strong and being able to walk and ride a bike. I am finding the right diet that works for me so I get the nutrition I need without the acid, fat, sugar, and wheat that my body doesn't like. I'm fighting the allergies. And I will move forward.

This Blog was originally my creation to share what I was experiencing here, being a California Beach Girl who moved to the Midwest. But "shit happens" and things change. I am still waiting for Disability. The system is broken and I am one of the many who are being hurt by it. My rheumatologist told me I am "permanently disabled" now, but Social Security doesn't want to give me what I earned and paid for, for all the years I worked so hard and all the years I've been working through the RA. I didn't choose this. This is not what I had planned. I don't want to be "disabled".

I don't know what is next.

I don't know if I will do any more blogs.

Bucket List + Passion =

When I lost my grandfather to Cancer and Alzheimer's it changed me! How my brilliant, healthy, active grandpa could be taken down by these diseases was beyond my comprehension. My grandfather... Julian R. West of the Defense Department of the United States, held multiple degrees, multiple Black Belts, and could do a standing back flip well into his 70s (maybe even when he was 80). My grandfather worked at the Pentagon and traveled all over the world. When he retired from that he was a Professor at UCLA and a Professional Photographer, still traveling all over the world, to photograph all things beautiful and create the most wonderful slide shows to share it all with others! He was a member of the YMCA, working out and sponsoring others til the day he passed. I adored him. And had good reason to. Not just because he was my grandpa who took me fishing as a little girl and taught me all about nature. Not just because he fed squirrels on his desk at his home office in Alexandria, Virginia, and always called me in to sit quietly and watch these interactions... But, he was a generous, kind, brilliant man and worthy of being adored. I could not understand how this man, my grandpa, could be taken by Cancer and Alzheimer's Disease. 

So, my "purpose" in life shifted to studying medicine, healing, reversing any and all autoimmune disorders, changing the course of genetic and inherited causes. My passion was on full tilt and I was going to find cures for everything and help everyone and make damn sure my daughter never ever got any of these things I was aware of!

I wasn't completely delusional. I knew I couldn't single-handedly cure everything and save the whole world. But I was absolutely determined to save my daughter and as many others as possible.

Okay, so I may have been a little delusional. I was over 40 when I went back to school and plunged myself into my purpose to cure disease. I didn't have a specific focus -- People AND Animals! Western AND Eastern Medicine! Main Stream AND Alternative AND Complementary! I wanted to have ALL the answers! My grandfather passed on to me a bright mind and an overwhelming NEED to KNOW and UNDERSTAND! Along with my own huge compassion and my passion to FIX. HEAL. CURE!  

What my grandfather did not pass on to me, unfortunately, was his realistic, down-to-earth, "common sense". Without my grandpa to guide me and keep me grounded in the realities of life, to navigate the tough terrain and help me with all the obstacles... I crashed and burned! Oh, I did great in College. I got A's and was on The Dean's List. I found out I was much smarter than I remembered. And I totally loved it. I loved studying and learning! So, you would think I was on the right path and this Chapter would have a happy ending. If you don't already know this story... well... I'll just wrap it up with this -- For reasons I can't talk about at this time, my "purpose" and my passion for healing, curing disease, finding all the answers, became just a shattered dream. Well... of course it did. Because I was an idealistic, passionate, slightly delusional, scarred woman with a high IQ and no "common sense" (so to speak). There is a saying that describes me perfectly: "Book Smart and People Stupid". 

Yep. 

You know those people with genius IQs that have little or no understanding of people and the way others think. I can relate. I never knew any of this about myself growing up though. I didn't know everyone else doesn't think like me! I was told my compassion was my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. What? So... anyway... you get the picture. Now, where was I going with this? Passion... Purpose... Bucket List...?

How many times can a person have the rug yanked out from under them, get beat with it.. have their hopes and dreams crushed... be stabbed in the back... knocked down and kicked while they're down... Betrayal? Life Lessons? Karma? 

Well... No matter how many times, you gotta get back up if you can. You gotta lick your wounds and take some time to recover. You will naturally protect yourself, you can't help it. You will get jaded. You can't help that either. But, if you keep focusing on what is the truth of who you are at your very core... You can survive and you can recover and you can heal and you can get back up again. Hopefully you've learned something of value and you don't repeat it. You breathe and you put your shoes on and you put one foot in front of the other and you walk again.

But... while you're down... you have time to really think! You have time to go over all that you've experienced, both good and bad. You can learn from it. And that's what I did. I took every single awful and painful experience, every moment, and looked for the lesson in it. That's a lot of lessons! Whew! I wrote it all down. I've disposed of so many journals, notebooks, stacks of paper. I never counted them. When I was done with them I would burn them or they'd go in a dumpster. I would vow to be a new, improved, person having learned all these lessons! I would never have a "dream" again and I would never get hurt again and my "passion"... passion only gets you hurt. 

But --- 

What is in your Soul and what you were born to do is in your DNA. You can turn away from your heart's desire. You can turn off passion. You can shut it down, but your DNA doesn't change. Your broken dreams can be in pieces all around you and you can cut yourself picking them up, but somewhere in there is your DNA and it is a scientific fact that your DNA is your individual code. Your very own, unique, authentic blueprint for life. So... fast forward > The life-changing, mind-altering, heart-breaking, soul-crushing events and experiences have left those idealistic and irrational dreams in pieces all around me.. I leave them there and turn to walk away. One of those pieces is stuck to me. I'm afraid of touching it. It will cut me, I'm sure of that. But it is sticking to me. I try to shake it off and it won't get off of me! Stupid piece! I try to pick it up but when I touch it I have a panic attack! My heart has a mind of its own and a really good memory! So... I leave the piece where it is. It stays! And for a while... years... it stays right there. Stuck to me. I've been able to ignore it and carry on.

 Do you want to know what happens? 

Here it is ~ 

It's all in the DNA. The overwhelming need I have to know and understand things is in my DNA. The overpowering desire to learn is also in there. And the things my grandfather handed down to me... in my DNA. My love for nature and the way my grandmother showed me to look at things, to really see them and appreciate it... in my DNA. The lack of understanding about people and human nature... also in my DNA. Compassion - DNA. Love chocolate, cheese and wine - DNA.  Hate snakes - DNA. Book Smart, People Stupid... yep, it's right there in my DNA. But what's ALSO in that DNA is... passion. 

Passion is what your Soul craves. What drives your mind to think and your heart to feel. When you've been broken and think you have no passion, it is just dormant while you need to recover. But there's a piece stuck to you somewhere. 

The definition of Bucket List is "A wish list of things to do before you kick the bucket"... And if you want to know what your passion is - start a Bucket List!

It may be a list of places you want to visit or things you want to do or experiences you want to live out, or animals you want to see. It may be a list of foods you want to eat, wines you want to drink, meals you want to cook. It may be a list of things you want to photograph or paint or carve. It may be a list of all these things... But... I promise you...

You will find your passion and maybe even your "purpose" in there. Because your own personal Bucket List is in your DNA. And that piece that's stuck to you will never leave. Get over it! Make peace with it. Take your time... Life is just that --- Life! That piece is along for the ride, however long it takes. If you get cut on it, you will bleed. Clean the wound, put a Band Aid on it and learn from it. When you've recovered and you can do it, take another look at that piece. It's not going anywhere.

My piece... the one that stuck to me and kept cutting me... It is my love of nature, especially animals, and my need to take pictures of them. Photography has been my nemesis. It has given me panic attacks and so much pain. But it is in my DNA. I love animals! I genuinely love children, and people, in general, too but my experiences have jaded me. That's reality. I adore nature. But my Bucket List... that's where I know what my purpose is! And you know what's NOT on it?

Finding a cure to anything or saving anyone! Learning... Yes! Understanding... Definitely! But the curing and the saving of the world is not up to me. That's on someone else's Bucket List. That's in someone else's DNA. And I'm okay with that... 

Now.

I Have RA

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.

 The Reactive Inflammatory variety. 

I was diagnosed in 1988 when I was 27 years old. My prognosis was that I would probably be in a wheelchair by the time I was 40 because I had been a dancer, competitive gymnast and fast-pitch softball catcher (played Semi-Pro) all my life, so my knees had been worked hard my whole life. But I didn't accept that prognosis. I was determined to get my healthy body back. I always have been an outdoor-loving, very athletic and very active "tomboy" type of girl. I rode motorcycles, water-skied, snow-skied, loved boating, camping, hiking. I was not willing to give up any of it. I had a bone-density scan that showed my bones were 125% strong! That means my bones were more than 100% dense! My Rheumatologist said my athletic lifestyle had built up my bones and that was a really good thing. But... RA is a degenerative, progressive disease and I had it. Plain and simple. Well... I researched everything. I studied Medical Journals. I READ everything I could get my hands on. I studied Nutrition and Psychology and Immunology and Relaxation Therapy and Art Therapy and Meditation and all things related to health and healing. I did it all. Some things work, some don't. I know for sure that emotional stress/distress is the number 1 factor in immune/autoimmune function. But LIFE is not easy.

 I did a really good job of  LIVING WITH the RA and keeping it under control for 25 years even through some pretty rough times. But in 2012 my doctor told me that it had progressed to a new level and what had always worked for me before was no longer working. She has been telling me for as long as I've been a patient that she knows I "always get better" whenever I have had a flare. She had so much confidence in me that I felt optimistic most of the time and it gave me hope that I would continue to overcome it. Realistically, sometimes I was knocked down with it and in so much pain that I did feel defeated, but I always bounced back and recovered. 

However... it is a progressive, degenerative disease and after 27 years it has taken its toll. When I moved to Illinois I had a job lined up with a Rheumatologist. Sounds perfect right? To be working for a rheumatologist and have insurance again would be perfect! But it didn't go perfectly at all and when I realized she was being sued for Malpractice we parted ways. I tried to get another job but with my RA getting worse and worse it was not happening. I had to apply for Disability. Last month I had 14 x-rays taken and I was told they showed Arthritis damage in both knees, both hips, my back and my neck. They didn't even look at my hands and feet. Tomorrow I am having an MRI of both knees. I have an appointment with a new Rheumatologist here in Illinois at the end of this month. I am hopeful that I will be able to get some help and relief from this but I have accepted the reality of it also. I have arthritic damage in most of my joints now and the disease affects the organs as well. The fatigue is often debilitating and fighting it just is not the way to go anymore. 

I have been advised by my attorney that Social Security looks at all social media and even email so I am making it clear that I have nothing to hide. I have been living with my boyfriend who is supportive and helps me through every day. On his days off he takes me out for drives. We see nature and wildlife and love it all.

I don't know if I will be able to keep doing this blog. My hands don't work all the time and I don't know what is coming.