I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.
The Reactive Inflammatory variety.
I was diagnosed in 1988 when I was 27 years old. My prognosis was that I would probably be in a wheelchair by the time I was 40 because I had been a dancer, competitive gymnast and fast-pitch softball catcher (played Semi-Pro) all my life, so my knees had been worked hard my whole life. But I didn't accept that prognosis. I was determined to get my healthy body back. I always have been an outdoor-loving, very athletic and very active "tomboy" type of girl. I rode motorcycles, water-skied, snow-skied, loved boating, camping, hiking. I was not willing to give up any of it. I had a bone-density scan that showed my bones were 125% strong! That means my bones were more than 100% dense! My Rheumatologist said my athletic lifestyle had built up my bones and that was a really good thing. But... RA is a degenerative, progressive disease and I had it. Plain and simple. Well... I researched everything. I studied Medical Journals. I READ everything I could get my hands on. I studied Nutrition and Psychology and Immunology and Relaxation Therapy and Art Therapy and Meditation and all things related to health and healing. I did it all. Some things work, some don't. I know for sure that emotional stress/distress is the number 1 factor in immune/autoimmune function. But LIFE is not easy.
I did a really good job of LIVING WITH the RA and keeping it under control for 25 years even through some pretty rough times. But in 2012 my doctor told me that it had progressed to a new level and what had always worked for me before was no longer working. She has been telling me for as long as I've been a patient that she knows I "always get better" whenever I have had a flare. She had so much confidence in me that I felt optimistic most of the time and it gave me hope that I would continue to overcome it. Realistically, sometimes I was knocked down with it and in so much pain that I did feel defeated, but I always bounced back and recovered.
However... it is a progressive, degenerative disease and after 27 years it has taken its toll. When I moved to Illinois I had a job lined up with a Rheumatologist. Sounds perfect right? To be working for a rheumatologist and have insurance again would be perfect! But it didn't go perfectly at all and when I realized she was being sued for Malpractice we parted ways. I tried to get another job but with my RA getting worse and worse it was not happening. I had to apply for Disability. Last month I had 14 x-rays taken and I was told they showed Arthritis damage in both knees, both hips, my back and my neck. They didn't even look at my hands and feet. Tomorrow I am having an MRI of both knees. I have an appointment with a new Rheumatologist here in Illinois at the end of this month. I am hopeful that I will be able to get some help and relief from this but I have accepted the reality of it also. I have arthritic damage in most of my joints now and the disease affects the organs as well. The fatigue is often debilitating and fighting it just is not the way to go anymore.
I have been advised by my attorney that Social Security looks at all social media and even email so I am making it clear that I have nothing to hide. I have been living with my boyfriend who is supportive and helps me through every day. On his days off he takes me out for drives. We see nature and wildlife and love it all.
I don't know if I will be able to keep doing this blog. My hands don't work all the time and I don't know what is coming.
